I got my angst sorted out. I have until March 3rd to complete and hand in my animation portfolio, I know I can do it! I know I can do well! I really want this.
In other news, I'm taking a class I totally despise but I'm only staying in it because Kate is also in that class. It's a liberal studies class, I LOVE those classes because all I have to do is sit at the back of the room and draw feverishly while listening to a lecture, it's easy sailing and I love how low key it is. Now that I've set that up, this liberal studies class...is THE WORST! We have some like new age bullshitty teacher who wants to make learning the most fun it can be, so he's saying our class room is going to become a community. First thing we had to do in class "make eye contact with someone you don't know" oh god oh god it's like every introvert with social anxiety's worst nightmare. I legit. could not do it, I made an attempt but I have a huge problem with making eye contact with strangers. Then we had to go around the class introducing ourself to everyone and shake their hands (ugh), then we had to find a stranger and tell them a story. MORE UGH. Can I repeat how much I hate this kind of stuff? I stuck to Kate like glue and pretended I didn't know her and then told her story.
Then he split us off into four groups, I was not in Kate's group. We all had to share with our group what we expect from the class and our reasons for taking it and what not. Everyone apparantly has really deep feelings towards aboriginal stories "since I was five I've been fascinated with cultures that are not my own...blahblahbalhbullshit" every one went on all these super intense reasons for taking the course, then it came to me. "Uh, I guess I just like stories? I hope to get a decent grade from the class? (looks up to stares of the group expecting me to say more) I suppose...that's it." "Oh, uhh..ok then, next?". Socializing is just not my strong point, my head kept telling me to ABORT ABORT ABORTTTTTTTT this class, but now that Kate and I are partners for a major project later on, I don't think I should switch.
This class will be a source of great anxiety and dread. So when everyone came back into the room and sat in a circle, I took out my sketchbook and started to draw because that's all I god damn wanteddddd from a liberal studies class, then the teacher was like :D :D :D :D "NO NEED TO TAKE NOTES IN THIS UNCONVENTIONAL CLASS! I once heard that people take notes to forget things!" I was seriously the only person in the class with a sketchbook and pen out, so he was staring at me. I looked around then closed my sketchbook and put my pen on my lap, all the while wishing he would just burst into flames for being soooo obnoxious.
All my friends think I'm crazy for hating this class because it's suppose to be fun and it's pretty simple and straight forward, but even the first class drained me emotionally. He expects us to learn everyone's names and get to know one another and hang out. SIGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh not my cup of tea. Expect more angsty journals about this class in the future.